I just had to get the hell out of Shanghai. A city which I have struggled to form a bond with for the last year and a half. Through the diminishing ancient culture, thick smoggy skies and an increasing feeling of being in a metropolis enclosure, our relationship result has come out as a C minus.
“There’s a monster in your tummy”. “Huh?!” I exclaimed. “Yes, there’s definitely something in there. It happens a lot here” said the doctor. I was lying in his refined, tiny office: a world away from the dusty chaos going on outside in Phnom Penh.
The dreaded question came up today. I was sitting comfortably on my apartment balcony, up in the skies on the twelfth floor. I was munching lunch with one of my best buddies Johnny. I was in my Shanghai home. Home.
Some people work like crazy with fierce blood, sweat and tears to save up enough money to buy a house. What is some peoples’ dream, is Teacake’s nightmare. Owning a house is my WORST nightmare. If I did bad stuff and the earth police told me I had to buy a house and live there forever, I would cry a river. I would be like one of The Prisoner’s buddies, desperately holding hands with him as we tried to escape from the island and THAT white ball.
Travelling changes you forever. Taking that brave step into the unknown world will blast you apart and the pieces will not go back together as originally assembled. Some parts of your unique jigsaw will be lost forever, other pieces will grow an extra arm or leg, some will expand, others will minimise and some will refuse to fit in even if they’re in the box. Here are some of the stark pieces in my jigsaw that have stood out to me over the last 5 years: the good, the bad and the ugly.
Teacake prides herself on being able to eat pretty much anything. You want me to eat that snail? No problem. Want me to eat that chicken’s heart? No problem. Want to chop up an octopus alive, swish it in oil and feed it to me? No problem. However, sometimes I’m faced with the reality of what I’m actually eating and then…well…I don’t feel too good.
Burlesque! Say it and what comes to mind? Sexy seductress? Sweltering misty underground clubs? A beautiful, powerful woman? A dirty stripper? Teacake decided to brave it, order some sexy lingerie online and head to her first ever Burlesque lesson in Shanghai to undress the mystique of this historical, magical phenomenon.
Coming back from the Philippines to Shanghai, I felt refreshed, renewed, reanimated and ready to take on the world. I’m eternally grateful to the Palawan island for that! I was also sunkissed, bronzed and had a bit of colour on those pale white bird legs of mine. Sure, I went diving and island hopping, so I used sunscreen a lot. But naturally, I eventually got a suntan. Little did I know upon my return to China, that this would open a whole can of worms with racism in Asia.
‘Teacake…You’re 30, childless, your boyfriend is nowhere to be seen. Don’t you want to get married? Aren’t you worried about not being able to have mini Teacakes? What the hell are you doing travelling by yourself? That’s dangerous right? Aren’t you going to die lonely?’ Oh please! Keep your hair on!