How I Met And Lost The Perfect Guy in 48 Hours

By Alice Teacake

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‘Whatever you do, don’t fall in love Alice. It brings nothing but confusion, mood swings and a complicated path ahead of you’. As I left my good friend in Tainan, who has always openly talked about the perils of infatuation with me, I agreed with her completely. I told myself that no independent woman travelling solo needs a man to cause upheaval on the road ahead. Yet, two days and 48 hours later, here I am, finding myself trying to get back down to more stable ground after experiencing an unexpected ride on the nauseating roller coaster of love.

How I met and lost the perfect guy in 48 hours


When I was younger I used to fall in love all the time, most likely due to my fresh innocence and an addiction to the chemicals love produces. I salivated on feeling as powerful as a rhino, full of energising bubbles in my tummy that rocketed my mind and heart into a utopia of bliss, passion and ecstasy. As I’ve got older, that feeling has severely diminished because a) that innocence has been torched and b) I travel.

Innocent Girl

One to seven hours

I raced down the highway as the sun began to grow weary and slowly sink into the sea. As its energy flowed into the waves, I soaked up every drop of it. My mind was focused on adventure and opportunity but not this. I entered my accommodation and the 48 hour stopwatch began. I saw him and was unknowingly instantly hooked. Resistant to becoming attached to anyone for years for self-preservation, I was oblivious to the chemicals beginning to bubble.

We discovered we’d been on the same journey of countries for the last couple of years, even in the same city, yet we had never crossed paths. Being the only two in our dorm room, we discussed everything, looking at each other across the room through the slits in our bunks until our energy slowly started to sink into the air and we sank into sleep.

Paths in Love

Seven to sixteen hours

Throughout the night, I dreamt about him continuously. Within seven hours, my mind had reached forgotten levels of vulnerability and lust. I woke up feeling bewildered and mentally scolding myself.

Sixteen to thirty eight hours

I went to get breakfast. I ate, I planned, I told myself to be Teacake and do some blog work and get back to the real world. Thirty minutes in and reality was thrown out the window as he appeared in front of me. ‘Say you’re going surfing with me today’ he said, nodding his head up and down. I snapped the laptop shut, grabbed my bikini and ran out the door with him.

Surfing in Dulan Taiwan

We drove through mountains, hung out with monkeys, ate fresh pineapple and succulent BBQ. We got tipsy with the locals, surfed all afternoon and listened and danced to random tracks in our room. Over dinner he passed every hurdle potential partners have fallen flat on their faces with. He ate everything: even bugs like me. He loved spicy food, disliked Shanghai, didn’t want children, reminisced about his experiences in South Korea and got off on doing things that others wouldn’t have the guts to do. We accidentally hung out with the local gangsters at Seven Eleven. We went skinny dipping in the middle of the night under the stars. We discussed how science had made us meet at this point and the possibility that it could have happened already in another dimension. We made out till sunrise and slept in peacefully.

Happily Ever After

Thirty eight to forty eight hours

With his flight back home looming and my schedule to go to Thailand fixed, the euphoria and delightful dizziness quickly turned sour and nauseating. I slept a lot that day. I felt heavy and numb, frustrated with having fallen so hard and not being able to do anything about it. I wanted to distance myself from him so I didn’t turn mad. I felt stupid for bringing such an intense feeling upon myself in such a short time and with others coming to stay and no ‘happily ever after’ ending in sight, I knew the ride was over.

The hangover

His plan was to surf early the next morning when we both had to leave. I was grateful for that because I just wanted to wake up and not have to struggle with him being there. Out of sight, out of mind. He never woke up in time for that surf, so I awkwardly had to say goodbye and left. I drove through the mountains and cried, feeling like an idiot for falling in love.

Mountains on Highway 23 Taiwan

The comforting warrior in me says ‘Screw beating yourself up. You’re allowed to fall in love, even if it is unexplainable, inconvenient and distressing. If anything, you’ve learnt that tough girls do cry and it is healthy to have a taste of your own medicine: you may have just have left some boys feeling just as bad as you do in the past’.

The future

The sad truth is that I will probably never see him again. The sad truth is, I’ll have to politely erase him on social media so I don’t turn into a psychotic stalking lunatic. The sad truth is that I know deep down, what I feel, he doesn’t. The sad truth is that I would jump at the opportunity to relive the 48 hours all over again.

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About Alice Teacake

I'm a feminist British kickass solo female traveller who believes in women facing their fears, pushing their boundaries and reaching their full potential through solo adventure travel! I have been featured in Nat Geo Traveller UK, Lonely Planet, the Daily Mail and Buzzfeed and spoken about solo female travel safety on BBC One, whilst working with a bunch of awesome brands. Follow me for travel advice and inspiration, so you can go forth and challenge yourself to reach your own personal goals!

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How I Met And Lost The Perfect Guy in 48 Hours

  • I volunteered in Spain for one week teaching English. One of the volunteers who was much older than me took a shining to me and I felt something for him too. However, I had a boyfriend at the time and when this fellow expressed his interest I felt I should be honest and mention my boyfriend. He was disappointed but we still continued to flirt harmlessly and even shared a closed mouth kiss. At the end of the week we parted ways. I had no regrets in telling him the truth but I also felt sad that I had missed out on something and was internally mad at my boyfriend for not enabling me to have anything with this fellow. This fellow and I exchanged a few emails and then he did not respond and I was hurt at first but talked to myself and understood where he was coming from. He obviously did not want to interfere with my relationship. With my boyfriend my anger came out and we were arguing a lot so I told him about the fellow and he understood. It took me a few months to get over this but when I started a job a few months later it distracted me from this situation.

    1. Hi Maida :( LOVE is so DIFFICULT! I believe we actually have a number of soulmates in our life. It’s just about timing…and that timing has to be perfect for the both of you. Thank you for sharing <3

  • Just wrote a comment at one of your other posts when I came across this one. I met a guy like that in South Africa. It was hard saying goodbye, but we had to. But we were both from the same country and even the same city. So when I returned home a few months later we had a date. But it was not the same. We were no longer at the same spot in life. He had just opened his first business and wanted to settle down and I just wanted to travel more before starting uni. I was so confused when it didn’t work out. At first I couldn’t see why, he was so funny, intelligent, sweet and everything I wanted, but I couldn’t understand why it couldn’t work, but I see why today. But still, the time we spent together was fantastic and I will never forget. I hope to find someone similar one day, someone who is easy to talk to and someone who will sweep me away and someone it will work with for longer :)

    1. Hi Tine! Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your experience! The same country and city?! Damn girl. I think this just shows that it’s all about the right time for people. You clearly had different agendas when you met again but I’m sending out positive cupid vibes for your next encounter!

      1. I know it was crazy, I never expected to find a guy from the same city while travelling., but yeah it was not ment to be with such different agendas. Thank you sending you positive vibes as well! Thank you for a cool blog. I definitely enjoy reading along :) and I am glad I came across this page :) Happy travels!

  • Such an honest and beautifully written post. I can relate, I met my “48 hour man” (in my case it turned out to be a one week man) when I least expected to meet someone. Lying in my dorm bed talking to my roommates he came walking in, with lots of energy. We started talking and instantly clicked. You know, when you meet someone and you just feel so comfortable in his company you let your guard down. Usually I try to hold my distance, mostly because I know I can’t control my feelings and I have in my past been let down. And also because I travel to find myself, and just have an amazing time, which I wouldn’t be able to if I catch unruly feelings for someone. My focus gets disrupted and I just put everything aside. Thinking this might be it. Somehow this could work out. But it’s just too hard. Too many questions to answer, and so much confusion. As a hopeless romantic I tend to make up fantasies about how the two of us would tackle the world, and rarely I ever believe that would ever happen. But I still do.
    The man I met was funny, intelligent, a bit dorky and just everything I wanted in someone. Had the best week together, stayed longer than expected just to be with him. Because in my head I had made up so many scenarios of how this could work out. Suppressing any negative thoughts, too caught up in the love movie I’d daydreamed of. The end of the story is, I left because I had plans to meet up with my family I hadn’t seen for months. I left without expressing my feelings. I cried when the bus left and I saw him walk back to the hostel. Just like you I know will never see him again, and deep deep down I knew he didn’t share the feelings I felt. Even though it’s hurtful to think of it now, I still would do it all over. It’s funny how someone for such a short time can mean the world to you and then just be a fading memory of something that made you feel really great.

    1. Hello Aumarin. Thank you so much for sharing your story and showing me I’m not just the only one >< Sounds like you have the same mindset as me. I think as a way to self-preservation, our mind blocks out what once was. How else would we recover?

  • Dear Alice Hi,

    It is a beautiful post you’ve written. I myself have been there just recently and I did not know how to get over this feeling. But hey! I found meditation as it’s cure. Also, I heard my guru stating that if you want to get over someone, just wait till you find the next one ;). So, as you said in one of the comments earlier, never stop falling in love <3.