Burlesque! Say it and what comes to mind? Sexy seductress? Sweltering misty underground clubs? A beautiful, powerful woman? A dirty stripper? Teacake decided to brave it, order some sexy lingerie online and head to her first ever Burlesque lesson in Shanghai to undress the mystique of this historical, magical phenomenon.
Wow Teacake! You’re hotting it up!
Sure am. In my mind I’m going to be confident. Strong. Busting my moves from the word go…but this 3 hour class has me acting like a mouse being hunted down by a seriously lethal tiger….to begin with at least…
How does it all kick off?
It’s a gentle, soothing start. We all share with each other what we think burlesque actually is and there sure are some interesting answers: ‘a journey’, ‘a chance to be confident with your sexuality’, ‘an art in teasing’, ‘being beautiful’, ‘being in control’. Fantastic answers. For me, burlesque is a chance to change from being ‘cute’ like a fluffy Korean k-pop girl into a wild, sexy, dangerous vixen that is going to whip your ass furiously. Meow.
Naughty! What do you learn first?
With our silky clear tights on we got our juices flowing with a simple foot warm up, moving up and down on the spot with our toes and grinding our hips from side to side. We learn how to bump and rotate that ass, make powerful eye contact, walk like a million dollars, shake our asses faster than a rumbling washing machine and shimmy our shoulders like we’re shooting bullets faster than those fembots in Austin Powers.
Then teacake starts to get a little uncomfortable…
Burlesque oozes sexuality and sensuality. I’m a little shy…so goddamn British. If I ever invite a guy over to my house to get jiggy with it, we have to drink a cup of tea first. It’s just polite. However, here I am, having to slowly connect with my inner goddess with all these other women and I’m starting to freak out. Aaaaaargh…
You can do it teacake!
After a quick break and throwing water down my throat, I’m determined to put my game face on and crush this timid inner creature. I’m here to be empowered! I am beautiful! Let’s turn up the heat!
The wonderful thing about this class is there’s no nudity. Women of all shapes and sizes with various levels of confidence are trying their best here and you can try what you want, what your inner fox wants to do. We learn how to take off gloves, stockings and shirts in a way that would send beautiful tingles down anyone’s spine, the hairs on your arms stand with pure excitement, the anticipation in you reaching bursting point!
Phew! It’s getting hot in here!
It sure is and before we all know it, we’re delving into a box of amazing props: feather boas, beautiful frilly, showy underwear, isis wings, feathery floating fans as big as a peacock fully stretched to its maximum. We are changing from timid caterpillars into the most voluptuous, confident butterflies you’ve ever seen! Huzzah!
And to top it all off?
We bite the bullet, get into groups and put on our own burlesque show! The creativity, individuality and originality is just beautiful, inspiring and deliciously sexy! I decide to put my fresh new hot skills to the test in my group and seductively take off my jacket. Who knew undoing your buttons could be so titillating?
I leave the dance studio in my heels (that never happens! I’m a converse girl!) and I’m a completely new woman, strutting down the street shaking my ass like a glamour girl. I’m already signed up for the next 2 classes. Travel can take you into crazy new places and this is the start of a brand new Teacake!
How can I get in on this?
Teacake learnt burlesque with the one and only Anna Fur Laxis.
You can sign up for the classes by emailing Anna Fur Laxis directly at firstname.lastname@example.org. Don’t be dismayed if the classes are full when you go to sign up. They are proving to be very popular and more are definitely on the table to be scheduled! You will get in soon enough. Go forth and be sexy!